delaware

Yes, barely significant on maps and in elections, the 'First State' dodges every attempt to be ascribed a cohesive identity. Even 'The Simpsons' have joked about it. We've spent plenty of money on state slogans, there are five official ones, but the closest any of them come to capturing a shared experience is 'The Home Of Tax-Free Shopping'. Falls trippingly off the tongue, eh? We in the northern-most county have been in effect decapitated from the two southern counties (sLower Delaware) by a canal to the Chesapeake Bay. There's an Air Force base down there and, oh yes, our Capital. But really, it's all just a blur out of the car window, speeding to the beaches. I have tried to instigate a seize and conquer movement to claim the entire DelMarVa peninsula as our own, but I kind of like the straight line which separates us from Maryland's Eastern Shore. It gives our State a bit of a backbone in cartographic renderings. (that's how desperate we are for an identity). It plays nicely off of the lovely arc that was somehow decided upon when ceding from Pennsylvania. (It markates a twenty-mile radius from the colonial capital of New Castle). If Virginia had any of that brand of vanity it would cede the appendix to us, in my opinion their noncontagious little plot only makes them look careless. We could have a backbone and a tail! So, other than providing southeastern Pennsylvanians a place to get a slightly discounted deal on large appliances what do we offer? Well, Baltimoreans flock to our Shore Points. We're home to a slew of major credit cards. The Nascar RV village sets up camp in Dover every year. (but something scared the LPGA away). A primary reason for most non-natives to relocate (and natives to remain) is that a better price on real estate is rare to be found directly east, north or south of here. 'The Diamond State'? I don't know what they're talking about. I guess at some point they needed to be talked down from calling it 'The Every Dream Realized State'. Wilmington, our largest city, has a slogan; 'A Place To Be Somebody". Pretty deep. I propose the Tomlinean tag line- "..but I realize now that I should have been more specific." The best part about living in a small state: it really is a smaller chunk of a small world. Just the other day I saw our Senator (the one who isn't running for anything) and former Governor trying to get a table at a restaurant. He was alone. The hostess did not recognize him and probably told him what she had told me a little earlier- "forty minutes." I was surprised, he's probably shaken hands with everyone in the state by now- he's had his picture taken with my kids more than once. I watched him skulk off in the direction of a Subway's sandwich shop. Harsh. Our now deceased former senior Senator used to show up with his stinking St. Bernards for any gathering of more than fifteen people. I've never met the current Governor, though. She hangs out downstate mostly. She looks like Boris Yeltsin in a dress. When even the pithy 'Small Wonder' failed to incite the imaginations of the millions of annual tourists who stay away in droves we spent, I think, upwards of two hundred thousand dollars for this little pearl. 'It's Good To Be First' Does that smack of decision by committee, or what? The 'small wonder' is that they keep trying. Here are several of my own, and I offer them free of charge. 'A Home To Delawareans', ...'Land Of The Synthetic Fiber',... 'The Smallish State', ...'Bob Marley Slept Here',...'PhilaMore',...'A Four Lane-Interstate Runs Through It',...'Christina's World',...I'm not even getting tired, 'The Little State That Gun Powder Built',...'A Place To Bill Somebody',...'The Other Pennsylvania'...'Got Cigarettes?',...'Incorporate Us!',...