self-evaluation

Does anyone else out there live with a Depressive, Over-Reactive, Manic-Obsessive, Under-Satiated Ego? (DORMOUSE). My family lives with one. Since it is me and since my perception can at anytime be clouded, I can't be certain there isn't more than one of us in the house. One of the symptoms is an inflated sense of responsibility for communicating the disorder to others. Interested in knowing if you, or any of your loved ones might be a sufferer? Take this simple test;

1. Is the distress caused by forgetting important obligations outweighed by the distress of being reminded of them?
2. When someone comments positively on your hair-style, are you likely to cut it the next day?
3. Are you antagonized by people who smell like soap?
4. Does the term 'Easy Open' fill you with dread?
5. Do you shop for clothes that make your head look smaller?
6. Would you rather sleep than eat?
7. In the course of a week, are you likely to be compared to Imelda Marcos?
8. Are you the one in your household most likely to 'silently muse'.
9. Is the only manufacturer whose name you are not embarrassed to have emblazoned on your clothing 'Converse'?
10. Are you only able to remember someones name if it is one shared by someone whom you dislike?
11. Are you tortured by elastic (whether worn by you or someone else)?
12. Do your foibles outnumber your idiosyncrasies?

If you have answered 'Yes' to six or more of these questions, you may want to seek a more thorough evaluation. DORMOUSE sufferers are five times as likely to rage against inanimate objects, ten times as likely to be thrown into a deep sulk by polite flatterers, and a whopping fifty times as likely to be mischaracterized as 'easy-going'. Sufferers frequently display an irrational reaction to being awakened by singing [I say, arguing] birds or being 'remembered' by over-friendly sales persons. He or she displays extreme discomfort at being cast in a cooperative role such as a phone tree or clapping in time. It is not unusual for them to describe their unease as having been born in "the wrong time'. The only known relieve from this malady is shopping for shoes and frequent napping. Again, extreme caution should be used in awakening a DORMOUSE. Under no circumstances should this be attempted with harmonica music or tickles under the chin.