save a tree

Here's another attempt to deflect the disorder in my life onto someone else. What makes all these people with their bulk and presort mail rates think they've purchased the right to bury my house in unsolicted litter. Real checks don't have the dollar amount peeking through the window (but they generally do have real return addresses). I know exactly what my mortgage needs protection from. And I'm not fooled by personal note sized envelopes addressed in a 'hand-written' font. Now, I could be happy placing a waste paper basket directly on the other side of the mail slot. I rarely take time to read the important mail all the way through. And if a real check ended up in the trash I would smell it out. The concept of paying bills online might actually be convenient if the statements were posted there as well. Instead, both junk offers and statements with junk enclosures from the same companies arrive in the mail at a ratio of about three to one. Think what kind of overcompensation those CEOs could be talking about if they at least put all that crap in the same envelope. Hey!, Sierra Trading Post- save some trees, four catalogs since last Christmas is a bit much (or is there a timely trend in windbreakers I need to be apprised of). Formal portraits of real estate agents?? Save your clever subterfuge for the settlement table. And for everyone else who thinks they know enough about me to 'target' my 'demographic', listen up. I live in a seven room house, not a collection center. There's barely enough room for people and furniture (we keep the Great Dane because she discourages drop-ins and cleans up stray food items). Unopened mail forms the lower strata of debris. Books and newspapers I started reading in February are on top of that. Then a layer of things we bought but never bothered to take out of the bags, piled on by more unopened mail. Somewhere in March I reckon the IRS started sending me more notices of the Paperwork Reduction Act, but they too have been obscured by gym bags and elementary school artwork. Amping it up with glossy paper is not enough. Is mass-mailing really more cost effective than, say, skywriting?, sparkly billboards?, or people by the side of the road dressed in foam costumes? I'd hate for that to be true. ([Call me old-fashioned but] for me, one gigantic cartoon boy in red checkered overalls is worth a thousand words. Put him on the roof and I'll beat a path to his door! ) People seem to forget that effective solicitation demands a bit of entertainment value- and I don't mean "Place your acceptance sticker here". It might be the only thing left for a floundering U.S. Postal system but a clear reason to pray for their demise. I can already sense that people who share my demographic are getting more spiteful.