Working backwards; 2011, snowed in- that's my excuse. NYEve; I manage hot orderves. Xmas 2010; I manage hot orderves. My Mom died on 11/23, Thanksgiving- I manage nothing. Birthday 11/6; laid off after two weeks of work. May-Oct.; no work- Lots of time to dwell on my Mom's illness. We buy a trailer in Rehoboth where camel-sized prayers pass through the eye of a needle. It's warm, I'm grateful for something. Spring; two months of work, looked like the year might go somewhere. Last NYEve; hot orderves.
Seeing it in print, warm weather and hot orderves are the only things to distinish this from a suicide note. I failed to include insomnia and horrific dreams.
I've been a self-absorbed spouse, a half-hearted parent, and a very lazy human being. I don't even have bootstraps.
I have this though; I've been a good son. My Mom and Dad have told me so. I was with them for the week of hospice which ended on my Dad's birthday. I managed a hot meal for the many people who came to say goodbye to my mother. I held her hand and told her how much I loved her. I was there to hear from them both how much I am loved.
It wasn't so much a shitty year as an important one.
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1 comment:
ooops - no 2011 :( :(
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