what are you doing right now?

Smack Dab is drinking beer in his underwear. Smack Dab is in his underwear, drinking beer. Smack Dab is blogging about nothing, feel free to ignore. Smack Dab is listening to old vinyl; Sparks/ "Indiscreet" at the moment. Smack Dab is wondering where his neighbors are going all gussied up like the Botswanian royal family. Smack Dab is wondering how to 'send a chrysanthemum', and why he would do that. Smack Dab is new to 'facebook' but totally sucked in. Smack Dab is wondering how his friend Kelly has over a hundred friends while he only has twenty-five. Smack Dab is not a 26 yr. old gorgeous blond female, that's why. Smack Dab is watching his kids play Wii games- out of context they appear severely autistic. Smack Dab is hoping his rosemary plant survives the winter. Smack Dab is musing over the term 'picture window'. Smack Dab is imagining the heightened paranoia officially pardoned turkeys are feeling right now. Smack Dab is tuning out you-wouldn't-believe-what-kind-of-racket. Smack Dab is impressed by how Tori Amos got away with stealing Kate Bush's act. Smack Dab is wondering if Thanksgiving in an Indian casino is any fun. Smack Dab is staying away from the kitchen today. Smack Dab is staying off the highway today. Smack Dab is almost finished posting. Smack Dab is watching another neighbor with a leaf-blower- out of context he too appears severely autistic. Smack Dab is almost ready to stand up and "dance this mess around". Smack Dab is wondering what '44' is doing right now. Smack Dab is contemplating drinking beer in a pair of pants. Smack Dab is contemplating putting on a pair of pants. Smack Dab is pushing 'SAVE'.

letter to the editor

Have faith, "...losing respect.."(Nov.15). You are witnessing yet another "revision of American history"- this one not as intent on glorifying narratives from the past as it is on creating new ones which all may be privileged to participate in, comment on, and hold up as an example of ourselves for the future. Without dismissing your perception, nor confirming or denying the truth of what is written as history, I point to the last administration as a clear example of greed, secrecy, and unchecked power attempting to present- as history- a narrative of wealth and opportunity few of us have realized. I have as deep a regard for the Presidents you have mentioned- their role in shaping the freedoms we enjoy cannot be understated. Felled cherry trees and log cabin bunk-mates aside, many of these freedoms have come at the expense of peoples of other nations as well as of our own. To ignore suffering and injustice where and how ever it occurs for the sake of national pride is a "glorious history" I do not celebrate. The feeling of the country right now (!) as we face economic and global uncertainty is that, with this new President, we are offered a chance to acknowledge our failures and move forward. Maybe we do this as a collection of fractured self-interests, as sniping partisans of one party or another, as people who resent other people for their language and culture, but I have greater hopes for our nation than that. We are constantly in the process of determining one just law to place ahead of the last to ensure that failures from the past are not perpetuated or revisited on citizens of this country whose advantages, despite the language of our founding documents, are fewer probably than your own. There's a lot of glorious history out there. Much of it from civilizations at points similar to our own who could never have predicted their own demise. But I remain hopeful that given this new opportunity, with the transparency in government we need in order to participate fully, with an understanding of other nations as people not so unlike our own, and with an earnest regard for the planet that supports us all, we will succeed.

joe the DemoIndePublican

As I predicted (see May 2007;"Buzzed"), he is just not funny anymore.

anthem

from a band (pair of brothers, Ron and Russell Mael) that have been around for years (factually, since they were born). I've been a 'Sparks' fan since the early seventies, then disinterested during the eighties when they went on some weird kind of Giorgio Moroder/Belinda Carlisle thing- virtually missing in action through the nineties, to emerge as THE new music of the millenium (the first decade of it anyway). Their last three albums; 'Hello Young Lovers', from whence this anthem comes, is all killer/no filler. Don't miss any of the videos on You Tube; the previous 'Lil' Beethoven', which forged the new sound (their third or fourth) cemented them as the purest cross-over of Gilbert & Sullivan to Alternative, and 'Plagerism'- this new treatment applied to other songs in their vast catalogue ( & featuring guest vocalists). Enjoy.

12 missed calls

As was the case during most of the game-changing events in my life, I slept... through a fire; my parents still tell the story of firemen trapezing through the [hotel] room; me dead to the world... college exams; zzzzzzz... through free tickets to the sold-out King Tut exhibit... I've even been dumped in my sleep; the flashy new boyfriend wanting me to walk him to an early train; "If you can't get your ass out of bed...!". I didn't catch the rest of it. Even my 'how we met' story requires inclusion of how excited I was waiting for Michael to call that I kept the phone right next to me- in bed. Of course I fell asleep and knocked it off the hook (remember hooks?). On his end; busy...busy...busy, "Oh, what an asshole!!". I sat on the front stoop of my apt. building [where I first met him] for two days until he walked by again- to [alas] convincingly deliver the lamest story in the history of 'call me tomorrow'. Yet still... there he is picturing me passed out in a gutter with a missing kidney every time I'm out of town and sleep through his calls. '12 missed calls' should be etched on my tombstone. It inspired this haiku; No good thing happens, and the gods plot against me, when I am sleeping. This morning I popped up at 5: something in a gut-churning panic. Sweet Lord, what year is it! It can't happen- I'm allergic to foreclosure! Blearily, I found the right button on the remote..."Barack Obama Elected 44th President". Exhale. It was game-changing in a new way. For the first time in my life something good actually happened while I was surrendered into the arms of Morpheus. I mean it, I thought it was a curse that would follow me past the job a hundred miles away I'm supposed to show up to at 6am tomorrow, through both of my children's weddings to their future first ex-wives, through my Tony acceptance speech (hope springs eternal), to the day when I keep Jesus and my Grandmother standing there tapping their wrist watches in the beautifully lit passage to the hereafter. Jesus:"Does he know how tight my schedule is?". Things I had lost sleep over; North Carolina, Nevada didn't even matter. The grayness of every November 5th in my memory this day seemed 'cheerfully' gray. The last thing I remember is texting a friend in South Carolina to gloat over his state being on the wrong side of history- all the sweeter after being there so many times myself. In the re-telling , I know where I was and what I was doing- even if I can't actually remember it happening.

more olio

• Loathe as I am to inspire partisanship, I have to align myself with Governor Ed Rendell this evening; to paraphrase- I want to crush them!
• Swallowing hard for a purchase sure to go the way of my 'brother' electric typewriter, probably before I finish this sentence, I now have the capacity to assign acres of vinyl to the giga-goblins. The guy who checks out your receipt on the way out the door says; "What's with vinyl comin' back" From his lips to God's ears.
• Today Delaware made it so easy to cast a vote for Joe Biden. Pithiest lawn signs ever; "Delaware's Joe Biden".
• I had an interesting job last week; painting a 62' high burro for a Carnival Cruise commercial. Thousands of Philadelphia children gathered for an event culminating in the not breaking open of the [Guinness Book of World Records certified] World's Largest Pinata (sorry, can't locate tilde). This time not required to sign a confidentiality agreement I'll disclose; they're sending it back to L.A. to re-shoot. Philly Police put on the brakes- lives would have been lost in the rabid grab, I feared for my own. My observation was that more than just a handful of that crowd needed an introduction to Mr. Green Vegetable. The crowd's disappointment at being turned away after waiting for four hours to get in the gate [but after the helicopter shot was in the can] was probably best expressed by a nine-year-old girl carrying a 'Hannah Montana' purse; "BURN IT DOWN!!!"
• Who else senses an abnormally high populous of disingenuous lesbians on FOXNews?
• Responding on-air to a collegue, [ingenious] Rachel Maddow says "he [Barrack Obama] complimented my pants." I can think of three ways to take that.
• To anyone who thinks my post, 'drapes', was too persnickety- don't make me come to your house, drink too much bourbon, and re-arrange your furniture. It's happened. (Okay, it happens often)
• Sports analogies- please stop. As hard as Chris Matthews is to stomach when he latches on to some obscure film analogy for political events, so too is any reference to a situation in a game I do not follow- and that would be almost everything outside of Men's Diving. If there is something to be said about political risk-taking, please do not employ a 'Sports vis a vis Catholic' description like "Hail Mary" phrase to say it- you lose me.
• Two years in, Undecided = contempt for pollsters, unless they prefer "addle-brained".
• My 50th birthday is two days off. My wish list includes; international food packaging with homoerotic inferences, i.e. Cock Soup, a 'Laverne & Shirley' lunch box, Arizona quarters, a replacement 'Alf' coffee mug, sugar-free candied ginger (good luck), a 'Last Supper' belt buckle, and melon-ballers of every size. No rush, I stay 49 until this list is realized.